As I allow myself to feel
I realize I need more time
To process feelings than thoughts.
I have to let myself vulnerable
To let myself reach parts of me that I thought I had killed
They weren't dead. They were there, hidden in the dark, so I couldn't see.
But now I've reachead the shadow. I let it exist inside me, around me.
I now realize I can't run away from myself anymore.
There are parts of me that won't let it happen again.
And it shows that all my endless effort to change is working.
Change can be related to loss, but can also be and unique opportunity to discover yourself and the world in a way that you have never before.
I exausted of denying my humanity. Denying that there are somethings inside me that I don't want nobody to see.... or know. Things that I'm not proud of. Things I thought I could make disappear.
Well..... here they are. They were here the whole time.
I make the effort of letting myself feel and, obviously, it hurts. I'm still getting used to this sensation. Ampliating my capacity of feeling feelings. And I will not say that this process is easy, because that would be a lie. But this process makes me closer of myself, my real self. And it's worthed.
